When I Became a Heart Mother

When I Became a Heart Mother

By Stephanie Husted

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same...
They told me that my child was sick... I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this... I'm really not that strong...
It seemed my heart was breaking... As, I'd loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child... despite your best "advice"...
I will give my child a chance... No matter what the price...
And I will learn all that I need... to help my child to thrive...
I'll even use that feeding tube... My child will survive!
Will he require therapy? What if he can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this... I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps at 3:00 a.m. It serves as my reminder..
How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings... and I run to my sleeping child's bed...
I watch him then for quite awhile... Bend down and kiss his head.
Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken and I look to God wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways... No matter how I try...
And yet, I trust You hold his life and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here...
But my heart whispers, "Please let him stay."
From pacing the surgical waiting room... to sitting by his hospital bed...
From wishing for a good nights sleep... to learning every med...
From wondering will he be alright? To watching him reach out his hands...
With every smile, my heart just melts despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line, I look to them and smile...
You see my child is loved so much, I would face any trial...
That same scar I trace with my finger. It's the door to his beautiful heart.
I never guessed how much I'd love him, just as YOU loved him right from the start.
A heart mom is always a heart mom... Now wise beyond her years.
And for those who have angels in heaven, our hearts share in all of your tears...
Everyday I will strive to remember... You chose me for him.
And I will embrace that beautiful day.